Part of me is in denial that it's already been two weeks (on Monday) that my love went to heaven. Part of me cannot believe it's "only" been two weeks. The days have been busy as much has had to happen in the past two weeks. Much is left that still needs to happen, be taken care of, or whatever, but I am not overly concerned. It's just a "one day at a time" journey right now.
Kyle left this morning to go back to Japan. So proud of this boy that God gave me! So proud of him for serving our country! So proud of the man that he is becoming! I know he is going to continue to make us all (including his dad) proud!
Many tears were shed from my eyes last night and this morning. Such a mixture of emotions. I just lost my love and felt like I was losing my boy too...just so hard to let him go into that airport. I am learning that I have to acknowledge these emotions, not squash them like I would have in the past. I know that nothing I feel is wrong or bad - just things I have to work through. This is already a big step for me!
I am thankful for family and friends that have been a great support system for me lately. I am SO thankful for the faith and trust in the Lord that gives me the strength and peace I need during this time too. I am thankful for "where" I am in my life right now (even compared to not too many months ago) and the things that the Lord has let me see and taught me - I know they strengthened my heart and mind for this phase of my journey. Thank you Lord!!
Kyle and I went to one of the local parks yesterday that Mark and I visited regularly. It was my and Mark's peaceful, perfect little place. We'd feed the squirrels and birds, even the ducks and swans. One of the ladies that works there is relatively new, but started chatting with Kyle and I. Kyle mentioned that Mark and I frequented the park and that his dad had just passed away. The lady stopped for a minute, looking at Kyle and I, and then said, "You are Christians, aren't you?". We said yes. She responded that she could "tell" because of the peace that we had about the situation. She herself was a believer as well! What an encouragement to my heart this moment was! I am so glad that the Lord can get the glory for the peace that He is giving our hearts!!! Yes there is sorrow, yes there are tears, yes there is a LOT of emotion, but YES, there is peace!!
So, my journey continues. It is still a journey of love because the love that Mark gave me, showed me, and taught me encourages me to continue on....because of him and for him! It is still a journey of love because the love the Lord shows me every day encourages and comforts my heart. It is still a journey of love because I have a wonderful boy who will always be the child of my heart and who I will love until the end of time!
It is still a journey of love.....
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